she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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