with your own penis?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
