puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
