I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
