The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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