i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
