Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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