I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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