respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
