I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
