I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
