He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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