ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
