they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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