turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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