life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
