I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
