3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
