Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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