I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
