Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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