I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
