Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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