I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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