I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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