fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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