first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
bring money and cleavage
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
