im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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