p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This baby is an asshole
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
