he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
