there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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