I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
