i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
