oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
