I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
