nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
