i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
