I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
