i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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