you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
