I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize