I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
