i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
