(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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