He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
