if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
