I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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