remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
