): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
