no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If I die, sorry about rent.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
