Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I puked a lego.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
