Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
